I had this blog on my myspace (which i found through digg) so I’m throwing it up on here too! incase you haven’t seen it. You can thank me later HOW TO KEEP A GIRL IF YOU’RE A GAMER.

1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say “could be better.”This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness.If she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really hard until she cries (thiswill impress her by showing her what a strong man you are).

3. Once a month, sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girlsare like dogs; they love to be roughed up.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she’s sleeping. Ifshe is, say “you better be.” Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This willshow her you care.

5.When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might beher fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, andevery girl needs some improvement.

6. Recognize the small things, as they usually mean the most. Thenwhen she’s sleeping, steal all her small things and break them, becausejewelry is for wussies and Asian ladies.

7. If you’re talking to another girl, make sure she’s looking. Whenshe is, stare into her eyes, mouth the words “**** you” and grab the othergirl’s ass. Girls love competition.

8. Tell her you’re taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so shethinks it’s going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard.When she starts to get upset, tell her you were just kidding and now you’rereally going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When shestarts crying and asks why you would do something like that, lean over andwhisper very quietly into her ear “…because I can.”

9. Introduce her to your friends as “some chick.” Women love thosespecial nicknames.

10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.

11. Warm her up when she’s cold…and not by giving her your jacket,because then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say”if you don’t stop bitching about the cold right now, you’re going to bebitching about a black eye.” The best way to get warm is with fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there, she’ll have to go to thebathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when theparty is dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you allnight.

13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet.Kick the pet. Guys always find stuff like that funny…why shouldn’t girls?

14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she’s fast asleep, wait 10minutes, then jump up and scream in her ear. Repeat until she goeshome and you can use your arms for more important things (like basketball).

15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

16. If you care about her, never ever tell her. This will only giveher self-confidence, then you can never turn her into the object she deepdown desires to be.

17. Every time you’re in her house, steal one of her shoes, earringsor anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. Thisway, she’ll go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she’s about to order, interruptand say “no, she’s not hungry.” Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guythat speaks for her.

19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then punch her in the face. Girlslove a spontaneous guy.

20. Give her one of your t-shirts, and make sure it has your smell onit (but not a sexy cologne smell…a bad smell. You know what I’m talkingabout).

21. When it’s raining, keep asking her if she’s crying. She’ll say”no, it’s just the rain.” Ten minutes later, turn to her and just scream ather to stop crying. Girls like a tough man.

22. Titty twisters and plenty of them.

23. If you’re listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell herno. This way she’ll think you’re mysterious.

24. Remember her birthday, but don’t get her anything. Teach her thatmaterial objects arent important. The only thing that’s important isthat she keeps you happy, and your happiness is the greatest present shecan ever get.

25. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas or justwhenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then, next time you knowshe’s coming over on a trash day, leave the trash can open and have thepresent visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don’t like this onethat much, but guys think it’s funny.

26. If she’s mad at you for not calling her when you say you will,promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This willmake sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call that you’regoing to tell her a special surprise. Now she’ll be really excited. Don’t call.