I had this blog on my myspace (which i found through digg) so I’m throwing it up on here too! incase you haven’t seen it. You can thank me later HOW TO KEEP A GIRL IF YOU’RE A GAMER.

1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say “could be better.”This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness.If she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really hard until she cries (thiswill impress her by showing her what a strong man you are).

3. Once a month, sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girlsare like dogs; they love to be roughed up.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she’s sleeping. Ifshe is, say “you better be.” Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This willshow her you care.

5.When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might beher fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, andevery girl needs some improvement.

6. Recognize the small things, as they usually mean the most. Thenwhen she’s sleeping, steal all her small things and break them, becausejewelry is for wussies and Asian ladies.

7. If you’re talking to another girl, make sure she’s looking. Whenshe is, stare into her eyes, mouth the words “**** you” and grab the othergirl’s ass. Girls love competition.

8. Tell her you’re taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so shethinks it’s going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard.When she starts to get upset, tell her you were just kidding and now you’rereally going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When shestarts crying and asks why you would do something like that, lean over andwhisper very quietly into her ear “…because I can.”

9. Introduce her to your friends as “some chick.” Women love thosespecial nicknames.

10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.

11. Warm her up when she’s cold…and not by giving her your jacket,because then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say”if you don’t stop bitching about the cold right now, you’re going to bebitching about a black eye.” The best way to get warm is with fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there, she’ll have to go to thebathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when theparty is dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you allnight.

13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet.Kick the pet. Guys always find stuff like that funny…why shouldn’t girls?

14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she’s fast asleep, wait 10minutes, then jump up and scream in her ear. Repeat until she goeshome and you can use your arms for more important things (like basketball).

15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

16. If you care about her, never ever tell her. This will only giveher self-confidence, then you can never turn her into the object she deepdown desires to be.

17. Every time you’re in her house, steal one of her shoes, earringsor anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. Thisway, she’ll go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she’s about to order, interruptand say “no, she’s not hungry.” Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guythat speaks for her.

19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then punch her in the face. Girlslove a spontaneous guy.

20. Give her one of your t-shirts, and make sure it has your smell onit (but not a sexy cologne smell…a bad smell. You know what I’m talkingabout).

21. When it’s raining, keep asking her if she’s crying. She’ll say”no, it’s just the rain.” Ten minutes later, turn to her and just scream ather to stop crying. Girls like a tough man.

22. Titty twisters and plenty of them.

23. If you’re listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell herno. This way she’ll think you’re mysterious.

24. Remember her birthday, but don’t get her anything. Teach her thatmaterial objects arent important. The only thing that’s important isthat she keeps you happy, and your happiness is the greatest present shecan ever get.

25. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas or justwhenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then, next time you knowshe’s coming over on a trash day, leave the trash can open and have thepresent visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don’t like this onethat much, but guys think it’s funny.

26. If she’s mad at you for not calling her when you say you will,promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This willmake sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call that you’regoing to tell her a special surprise. Now she’ll be really excited. Don’t call.

I posted a new vid:

SPERM DUMPSTER CHICK HAS ISSUES.

 There were some commenting issues last night but everything is fixed now. I want you to check the entry below this one because i want you guys to take a little poll for me! This lady did this awesome albeit limited social dating experiment and its a good read. (if you like reading!)

Jamie

Do you prefer women’s hair to be curly or straight?Apparenty its a big deal to a lot of people. It can completely RUIN a date if you were expecting one instead of the other.I saw this article when i was browsing around digg. This really cool social experiment. (there were a few limitations but still a fun read)But what do you prefer? Curly or Straight.and why. WHY?!

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Click on the “read more” thingy below to see the article .

read more | digg story

Sometimes I get emails from people saying “Jamie I wanna put my throbbing sausage up your - ” WAIT. WRONG FOLDER. Sometimes they ask for advice. Advice on how to make videos.

There really isn’t a tried & tested formula. And if there is, I just don’t know about it. I mean making a video is one thing but people actually liking it is entirely different. For instance - did people REALLY like this video?

WHY I’M LUCKY I HAVE BREASTS:

I’m mortified. I can’t even re-watch my videos because I HONESTLY believe they’re questionable in content as well as delivery.

But if I had to give advice i would say:

• Be passionate about whatever you’re talking about
• Keep it short - people on Youtube have a short attention span & the longer the video, the easier it is to fuckup or offend someone (which btw isn’t always a bad thing.)

• Wear a clean shirt. Youtube has some of the most critical audiences i’ve ever seen. THEY WILL NITPICK AT EVERYTHING. Which isn’t bad, it just encourages you to be on top of your game.

If any of you are reading this blog and have a youtube channel with videos or are thinking of uploading your first video, leave a link and i’ll be sure to check it out

<3

Jaymay

I personally never liked the idea of carrying a child. I used to dream alot about it when i was a teenager, me being raped and then getting pregnant. But instead having a regular, round tummy, i’d have this tummy in the shape of my baby. Hands and feet pressing against my skin (you could literally see the shape of its nose) it was so gross omg.

Although i make fun of her, kudos to Jamie-Lynn for deciding to keep the baby (although ideally, she shouldn’t have gotten pregnant in the first place)

She could’ve taken the easy way out and have a quiet abortion but she didn’t. She’s going to undertake the hardest task she will face in her lifetime. And i wish her the best!

Jaymay

I don’t like talking about race, because I honestly believe the colour of our skin is the last thing we should be comparing. However, a random series of events caused me to discuss this.

Last night while I was watching videos on youtube I came across something very disturbing. There was this girl, this african american girl complaining about youtube suspending her account “because she was black”. And her following rallying around this obviously well thought-out conclusion.

It’s irritating when people, play the race card. It irritates me. I know there are racists out there - I don’t think I will live to see a world without racism, HOWEVER, in this instance this young lady couldn’t be more ignorant. “Heavennuh” or something conveniently failed to leave out the part of her woeful demise where she created multiple accounts on YouTube to subscribe to her main channel. She failed to mention she violated YouTube’s ToS and spammed other youtuber’s channels daily. But she didn’t forget to play the race card.

Amazing.

After watching her video I decided to comment saying the reason she got suspended wasn’t because of her ethnicity, it was because of her spamming subscriptions and she responded with “what are you, the YouTube police?” which she quickly removed because she realised she had inadvertently admitted to cheating and she wanted to milk the race card from her predominantly black viewer-base.

Unfounded claims like hers are the reason that when actual racist behaviour is noticed and complained about, its seen as just “another black person trying to get a free ride” and not a serious societal pitfall.

It irritates me, She irritates me. Dozens of white people get suspended everyday on YT for the same thing, but she’s acting like some great injustice was done, because of the colour of her skin.

Cheating is not right and it will take time to remove ALL the cheaters on YT. Its simply that yesterday, her time ran out.

Jamie.

Hey guys! I need a little favour. Usually i like to treat my subscribers like houseguests - I just want you to watch the vids and enjoy. However this has to do with you, so i’m including you. My previous videos have been somewhat succesful on youtube and they all have the same comedic undertones in each of them. I like being funny, i like making people laugh - but i’m wondering if you would prefer more variety with my vids? Like cute vlogging or cute trips outside of the house or cute vids with my friends or what.

I guess im just asking..

WHAT DO YOU WANT?!

Would you prefer a random array of things including comedy or comedic vids alone. There’s an adorable poll down below.

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Word sex.

Immediately.

The year 2007 was depressingly normal. Except for uploading vids on YouTube - and I’m guessing its because I can look back on these vids and SEE what I’ve done- it’s a year I can’t definitively remember and it’s not even over yet. But it’s too late to do anything about 2007 now! Right?! Are you bored yet?!

I will kitteh. I will.

I don’t know if anyone else feels like this but if you do. Lets change shit. There’s no way that our lives should mirror that of a comatose patient. I mean it guys! I want you to bend 2008 over and make her your bitch. Don’t ask her permission, just take away her peace of mind and dominate her. Give her Hepatitis C and make her a lesbian.

Make sweet word love to me and comment below.

Its true, the boobies are 14 years old this year, i’ve had them since i was 8. You know..before there was “2 girls 1 cup” there was one girl…with 2 cups. 32AA cups and a crappy disposition.

I dunno if all girls go through it but its like as soon as you start….blooming? Every male in the vicinity finds some way to inadvertently touch them. Like - not in a sexy way, but like when someone rips out a dolphin’s spleen kinda way. He walks by and accidentally sock you in the areola. It hurts.

Just so you know..you guys that watch my videos on youtube? you guys are my whole internet world.

Jamie

Hey everyone,

Well I had a slight problem with my WordPress installation, so I had to reinstall everything (maybe “slight” was a bit of an understatement”), so I’m now working on setting everything back up and all that stuff, so just enjoy this video for now while I get everything together: